Hello hello! What have you all been up to this week so far? I went for a mega 10 mile walk this weekend that made me feel SO much better & then came home to a monster of a roast dinner. Other than that It’s been a pretty chilled out week spent reading and re-watching Gilmore Girls (Jess for the win!)
This weeks TTT prompt was ‘books that made me laugh out loud’ and if you’ve been follwing me and my reviews for a while you will know I have plenty of books that fit this list, most of which have made me laugh at the most inopportune of moments, on public transport or at work, so I had no trouble finding 10 books to fit. As well as the title, I’ve added a few quotes from the books that gave me a good giggle whilst reading. What books have made you laugh out loud? Let me know in the comments.
Top Ten Tuesday is run by Jana over at That Artsy Reader Girl and you should definitely go give her blog some love.
A Dark and Hollow Star
“Um… how do I get through?’ ‘Well, it’s not Platform Bloody Nine-and-Three-Quarters, so I don’t suggest you barell off at it.”
“Bye, Cel. Thanks for walking me from school.’ ‘Bye, Arlo! If you don’t call me tonight, I’ll just assume you’ve been murdered, shear off all my hair in mourning, and write lengthy poetry immortalising that one time you beat me in Mario Kart.”
“She frowned severely. ‘You can’t fire missiles at the Inland Revenue.’ ‘Sorry.’ ‘You can’t get clearance over the walls. The angles are wrong.”
“Should I find, Trainee Parish, that you have, at any point in this assignment, made any attempt to return on Ms Jones instead of with her, I shall lock you in a small room with her mother and abandon you there.
Luke Blinked. ‘I’m sure you’re not allowed to threaten junior ranks with…’
‘Just get in the bloody pod, Parrish.”
The House in the Cerulean Sea
“But guess what?”
“There was no treasure after all! It was a lie to get you here for your party!”
“Oh. I see. So the real treasure was the friendships we made along the way?”
“You guys are the worst,” Lucy muttered. “The literal worst.”
“I’ve always wanted to see if humans make good fertilizer. It seems like they would.” She eyed him up and down hungrily. “All that flesh.”
“I didn’t know Syldrathi blushed with their ears,” Tyler muses. “I am not blushing.” “I mean, it kinda looks like you’re blushing.” “I am not blushing.” “Ooookay,” Tyler nods. “I sometimes have that effect on people, is all.” “Is your request not to punch you still in effect, sir?”
“Um, sir?” Finian de Seel says. “We might have a problem.” “You mean aside from you interrupting my speech? Because I’d been practicing it in my head for an hour and it was gonna be great.”
“I’ll be fine, Safi. You forget that I taught you the art of evisceration.’
Safi scoffed, but her Threads flared with with amused pink. ‘Is that so, dear Threadsister? Have you already forgotten that it was me they called The Great Eviscerator back in Veñaza City?’ Safi flung a dramatic hand high as she twirled toward Ryber.
Now Iseult didn’t have to fake a grin. ‘Is that what you thought they said?’ she called. ‘It was actually The Great Vociferator, Safi, because that mouth of yours is so big.”
“How is that for service? Do you know how many men onboard would kill for the use of a spoon?”
“And do you know,” she retorted, “how many men I can kill with a spoon?”
City of Brass
“It’s not haunted”. Wajed countered. “It simply… misses its founding family.”
“The stairs vanished under me the last time I was there, uncle,” Ali pointed out. “The water in the fountains turns to blood so often than people don’t drink it.”
“So it misses them a lot.”
“You’re some kind of thief, then?”
“That a very narrow-minded way of looking at it. I prefer to think of myself as a merchant of delicate tasks.”
Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine
“A philosophical question: if a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? And if a woman who’s wholly alone occasionally talks to a pot plant, is she certifiable? I think that it is perfectly normal to talk to oneself occasionally. It’s not as though I’m expecting a reply. I’m fully aware that Polly is a houseplant.”
“No thank you,” I said. “I don’t want to accept a drink from you, because then I would be obliged to purchase one for you in return, and I’m afraid I’m simply not interested in spending two drinks’ worth of time with you.”
“I rolled my eyes at Kest. We’d heard this lecture many times before, but Trin hadn’t, so she stepped right into it.
“Is it really so hard?” She asked
“My dear, not one man in a hundred can be a proper archer. And not one in ten thousand can become a master.”
“And you are one? A master archer, i mean?”
Brasti smiled and contemplated the nails of his right hand. “One might fairly say so, i believe.”
“One says so frequently,” I observed.”
“When you’re fighting a crowd, it’s good to shout potentially threatening things like “Crossbows!” or “Fire!” or “Giant Flying Cat!” every once in a while. When people are in the middle of a battle they’ll look more often than not, and in this kind of fight, every second is a chance to do some damage and otherwise avoid the inevitable.”
Rivers of London
“Fuck me, I thought. I can do magic.”
“So magic is real,” I said. “Which makes you a … what?” “A wizard.” “Like Harry Potter?” Nightingale sighed. “No,” he said. “Not like Harry Potter.” “In what way?” “I’m not a fictional character,” said Nightingale.”
Sorcery of Thorns
“I love you, too,” she said.
Nathaniel’s brow furrowed. He turned his face to the side and blinks several times.
“Thank God,” he said finally. “I don’t think unrequited love would have suited me. I might have started writing poetry.”
“Why are you looking at me like that?” he inquired.
“You used a demonic incantation to pack my stockings!”
He raised an eyebrow. “You’re right, that doesn’t sound like something a proper evil sorcerer would do. Next time, I won’t fold them.”